Yukari's Birthday
by The Fellow Marauder
Summary: Yukari is upset because ONCE AGAIN her students forgot her birthday. Trying to make it up to her, Chiyo chan and the others take her to Chiyo's summer home. R&R! Dedicated to Moony05!


This is a birthday present for my friend, Moony05. Moony, you better like this!!! And I know that I can not compete with you, Joey or my wonderful, beautiful Kate-chan because you are all brilliant and I am not worthy!!! ::collapses and sobs:: I AM NOT WORTHY!!!

((To Moony: I am aware that this does not involve Tidus like you would like, but I wanted to do a birthday party like the fanfics I usually write for birthdays. Hahaha)

Please review!!! Onegaishmasu!!! I would be eternally greatful!!! ::bow::

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. What else is new? Does anyone own them? Please tell me. I am only a very confused little love-sick neko-chan!

Yukari's Birthday. By: Shuuichi's Kindred Spirit

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"Psst." Yomi said, leaning foward to the back of Chiyo-chan's seat. "We... uh... forgot Yukari's birthday again, didn't we?" Chiyo-chan looked up precariously. The noise of Kurosawa-sensei's class celebrating her birthday could be heard from their own classroom. Looking up at Yukari-sensei, they could all see that she was twitching in jealous anger.

"Ano..." Chiyo-chan said nervously. As each second passed, Yukari-sensei seemed to get a lot more furious. Thinking she had to do something quick before she went to kill Kurosawa, Chiyo-chan jumped up and, before she even knew what she was doing, she yelled to Yukari, "WE HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY, MISS YUKARI!!!" Distracted, Yukari looked over at her pupils.

"Really!?" She said happily.

"Hai!" Looking around for people to help her in what she should lie to Yukari-sensei about, no one offered her any advice. They all stared at her, either dumbfounded or urging her to go on but offering no help. Knowing it was the only thing she could do, she then said almost sheepishly, "We... we can have a party at my parent's summer home."

"Yayy!" Yukari-sensei said happily. She then bolted out of the room to rub that in Kurosawa's face. Weighed down with stress and hopelessness, Chiyo-chan collapsed into her chair and was comforted only by Sakaki, who rubbed her back gently while everyone else cheered.

"PARTY! PARTY! PARTY! PARTY! YAYYYY!!"

Dropping her head hard onto the desk, Chiyo-chan whined, "Why me?"

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That Weekend

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"Are... are you sure this was a good idea, Chiyo-chan?" Yomi asked cautiously as she surveyed her 'friends' who were all getting ready to go to Chiyo-chan's summer home for Yukari-sensei's birthday.

"Of course it was not a good idea." Sakaki stated nonchalantly behind her genius pint-sized friend as the three of them surveyed the rantings of Osaka and Tomo beating up on one another, slamming their bodies together. "But Yukari would have been in such a horrible mood if we had not done anything."

"Yomi..." Chiyo-chan said, extremely frightened. "I'm afraid!"

Yomi laughed lightly, trying to make Chiyo-chan feel better as well as herself. The laugh sounded hollow and unconvincing to everyone, including Yomi. Defeated, she lowered her head and did not try again to sugar coat the horrible situation they had gotten themselves into. Again.

"Alright, let's get this party started!!!" Yukari yelled, full of energy and excitement. "Everyone wanting to ride with me, jump in my car right now!"

"Yeah! I'll go, Yukari-baby!" Tomo shouted, grinning from ear-to-ear and soaking up all of Yukari's excitement. No one else seemed willing to ride with Yukari. Since Kurosawa's car could not fit the rest of them, Osaka and Kagura were shoved into the backseat of Yukari's Death Trap Vehicle while Sakaki, Chiyo-chan, Yomi, and Kaorin rode with Kurosawa. Kaorin was ecstatic to be invited once again to the summer home and she was even more thrilled that she could be with Sakaki and not die with Yukari. Recalling the previous time she rode with her, Kaorin still got goosebumps up and down her arms. She could still see her life flashing before her eyes. In fact, if it had not been for her ability right then to cling to Sakaki's warm body and make everything better, Kaorin would have had a panic attack right there in the car; even though the driver (Kurosawa-sensei) was very calm and relaxed at the wheel. As Yukari-sensei's car sped past the others, they could hear Yukari yelling ("Eat my dust!!!!"), Tomo screaming ("Yeah, that's right!!! Burn rubber, Yukari-baby!") and Osaka pleading for dear life ("Oh, God!!! Somebody save me!!!!").

When they got to Chiyo-chan's summer home, the passengers in Kurosawa's car got out with happiness and unsurpassed excitement at being at the the lake house again and ready to enjoy their party. However, the passengers in Yukari's car were nearly the opposite. Tomo and Yukari came out refreshed and relieved after venting their anger on every driver yelling at them and swerving off the rode in order to not get killed by Yukari's insane driving. Kagura and Osaka somehow managed to get out of the car, but fell flat on their faces while doing so. As soon as they regained any energy in their muscles did they scurry away from Yukari's Death Trap and hurried into the house, tears streaming down their faces; in both horror and relief at making it alive.

"Okay, Yukari-sensei." Chiyo-chan stated as they entered the lake house. It was spic-and-span, perfect for celebrating a birthday in. The day was warm and inviting, the lake cool and calm and the house was decorated up to suit a birthday party. Snacks were set out on a buffet table, everything from American chips and popcorn to Japanese sushi and pocky to Mexican buritos and tortilla chips to British baked crumpets. Soda, rice balls, tea, sandwiches, salsa, cheese, vegetables... it was a glutton's greatest fantasy. Everyone rushed over to the food and Tomo and Yukari immediately found something to fight over. Once Yukari picked up a mini wrapped taco tortilla did Tomo want that exact same one.

"Gimme that!" Tomo yelled.

"Iie!" Yukari screamed back, pulling the tortilla out of reach from Tomo's grabby little hands.

"Gimme!" Tomo pounced on her until Yukari fell to the floor and together they struggled over the delicious Mexcian food. When Yukari was tired of fighting, she sighed in disgust.

"Here!" She cried, shoving the tortilla into Tomo's mouth. "Have it!" Very put out, she stood up and marched back over to the table. She surveyed her choices once again and found a very scrumptous looking onigiri. Picking it up, she then raised it to her mouth when...

"GIVE THAT TO ME!!!!!!" Once again, Tomo tackled Yukari-sensei for the food and again began another image of 'When Tomos Attack'.

"Uh... guys..." Chiyo-chan said nervously, a sweat drop cascading down her cheek. She watched in vacant horror and disdain as Yukari and Tomo fought over the onigiri, rolling around on the carpet and both trying to eat it. They were hitting walls and the table legs, the chairs and even people's feet but they did not seem to notice as their only focus remained on who would eat the rice ball. "Maybe we should open presents?" Chiyo-chan said timidly. She hoped that the mention of the word 'presents' would bring Yukari to her senses and stop messing her home. Fortunately for her, it did. Immediately discarded the onigiri onto the floor (where Tomo greedily ate it all up) Yukari ran to Chiyo-chan.

"Chihuahua!" She exclaimed happily. "Good idea!!! Presents! GIVE ME MY BLOODY PRESENTS!" The party soon turning from the focus on food to presents, they all gathered around Yukari to see what everyone else had gotten her.

"I wanna go first." Chiyo-chan stated proudly. Stepping forward, she handed Yukari and small package.

"Ooohh!!!" Yukari cooed happily. She then ripped off the wrapping paper to reveal... a picture frame fell out as well as a small card. Yukari's face fell in disappointment. Disregarding the actual present, she lifted the box above her head and shook it, hoping for some kind of magical item to fall out of it. Nothing happened. Sneering at Chiyo-chan, she demanded, "Where's my present, Chihuahua?" Feeling her heart sink into her stomach in shame, Chiyo-chan said quietly,

"It's on the floor in front of you."

"Oh." Yukari said, pretending like she had known that all along. Chiyo-chan's heart rose in hope once again only to be shot down by her teacher for the countless time. "What is this? What have you given me? What is this picture inside this box? Who is it?"

"It's me." Chiyo-chan responded, upset. "I wanted to give it to you so you could remember me."

"Who cares." Yukari scorned, throwing it to the side. At least she had enough decency to wait for Chiyo-chan to slink to the corner in shame before starting the bid on what people would pay for the kawaii picture of little Chiyo-chan. "Let's start the bidding at 350 yen. Do I hear 350 yen? How about 300? Anybody?" Not getting any bids or any sign of interest, Yukari-sensei threw it aside and sighed. "Next!"

"I'll go." Yomi sighed heavily. She picked up her wrapped present and handed it to the impatient teacher. Yukari-sensei took it and held it in her hands as if she was mentally weighing it, lifting the contents up and down several times.

"Hmm..." She stated almost wisely. "It feels like a book. I wonder what it is." Her eyes then shining bright, she said happily, "Is it a hentai book? Filled with Kizuna images? Is it?" Yomi's face contorted into a look of disgust at her teacher. Her respect for that woman brought the rate down -12.3.

"Just open it." She scorned, barely able to meet Yukari's eye. Wasting no more time, Yukari ripped open the gift wrapping paper and was so excited when her face fell.

"What is this?" She asked, lifting up a textbook. "An _English_ book!?"

"Well..." Yomi had to think fast. "You are so good at English that I thought you would want your own English book."

"I'm good at English because I am an English teacher!" Yukari screamed. "This book looks no different than mine!! In fact..." She lifted the book and studied the top spine. Narrowing her eyes in anger, she then yelled, "THIS IS MY BOOK!" She flung it at Yomi and would have hit her if Yomi had not ducked. "NEXT!" She screamed.

Not at all intimidated by the disasturous failures of the first two presents, Kagura eagerly stepped forward and handed the box she had with her to Yukari. "I think you will like this present a lot." She said with confidence. "It will come in handy someday." Eager as well, Yukari forgot all her frustrations and then tore through the box revealing a single red leather boxing glove. "It's said to have been owned by Muhammad Ali, but it _was_ off of eBargainingStuffGalore. You never know." she concluded with a shrug. Yukari's face, instead of pissed off and ranting like she had been since they arrived, looked suspiciously sadistic. She put the glove on, glanced over at the still-eating Tomo-chan and a smirk of purest evil crossed her face. Tomo was not too far off... if only she could... in a swift movement, Yukari punched at Tomo and made contact with her, sending her flying. All the guests aside from Kagura and Yukari were in a state of shock. Once Yukari had stopped her insane laughing, she then placed the glove on the seat beside her.

"I like this one. Here you go. You can sit by me." Satisfied, she waited anxiously for her next gift. "Come on, now. I haven't got all day, you know." She chuckled. Next one was Sakaki.

"You'll like this." Sakaki said, smiling which was unusual for her. She handed Yukari her birthday present. A little cautious, not sure if she should accept the present or burn it because of Sakaki's strange behavior, Yukari then decided that a present was a present and she opened it. Into her lap fell several items; all containing cats. A calender, a stuffed plushie (of Nekoconneko), a cat watch, a tie and various other things. Yukari's mouth dropped open in amazement. Sakaki smiled, succumbing herself into the world of shoujo-bubbliness. She took the calender and magazine and kept it as her own. Shuffling over to the corner and mumbling to herself about the adorableness of the kittens. All of them just stared at Sakaki and she ignored all of them by looking at the cute pictures. Leaving her alone, they all then continued on the present opening.

"Here you go, Yukari-chan." Kurosawa said, handing her a present that suspiciously looked like a racquet. Opening it, the present was revealed to be a tennis racquet. Narrowing her eyes, Yukari looked over the top of the racquet at her P.E. teacher friend.

"What is this?" She asked.

"A racquet." Kurosawa replied.

"Yes," Yukari noted. "But why did you give it to me?"

"Don't you like tennis?"

Narrowing her eyes even more, Yukari slingshotted the racquet at Kurosawa's head and it struck dead center, knocking her out. All the kids there were more terrified of driving home with the mad Yukari behind the wheel than Kurosawa being safe.

The next present came from Kaorin. Hoping for something more that she would enjoy (like Kagura's gift), Yukari opened the present but revealed a memoir of someone. Excited that it might be all of her, Yukari excitedly pulled open the book of memoirs and her face fell (once again) when she saw all pictures of Sakaki. Sakaki playing tennis, Sakaki doing warm-ups for gym, Sakaki serving tea and at work and sleeping and in class... Fear and questioned insanity crossed Yukari's eyes as she looked up at Kaorin. If possible, she was in more a state of shoujo bubbleness than Sakaki herself in her state of neko nirvana.

"Okay..." Yukari said slowly, looking sideways inconspicuously before putting the memoir book ("Ode to Sakaki") on the floor and pushing it far away from her. "Next." She said, nervousness shaking throughout her voice. Osaka stepped forward and Yukari groaned. Only because it was Osaka was Yukari worried. She knew it would be something pointless. And she was right.

"I got you..." Osaka said suspensefully. "A.... KIWI!!"

"Kiwi?" Yukari repeated. "Why?"

"Cuz they're _yummy_!" Osaka said happily while laughing. She handed Yukari a kiwi and Yukari took it precariously. She started munching on the fruit. Finding it to her satisfaction, she ate it as she looked up at Tomo wide-eyed, patiently waiting for her gift.

Tomo, who had regained conciousness from Yukari's blow, then walked up to her teacher and handed her something. She had just finished her kiwi (it was delicious, but small) and was ecstatic to see it was a bowl of instant ramen. "Yayy!!!! More food!" She ripped it open to eat it raw when she froze in horror. Tomo burst out laughing and the people who were still paying attention (who were not crying, in shoujo-bubble land or knocked out) were curious as to why Tomo was laughing so hard. Yukari's foul disposition was normal. "YOU ATE IT!!! YOU FOOL!!!" She threw the plastic container back at Tomo and then lunged at her, her hands wrapped around her throat. "BAKA!! BAKA!!! BAKA!!!!!!!"

After all the presents were opened, they all calmed down. Everyone was together and Yukari was having a great time-- greater when she beat Kurosawa three times in a row in Grand Theft Auto IV. When it was getting late, they all decided it was time to head back home. They all picked up their things and made their way outside to the two cars. Yukari stood in front of hers. Tossing the keys up and down in the air, she smirked at all the guests; all of which had goosebumps. "Who wants to ride home with me?" Except for Tomo, none of them volunteered.

_Owari_.

**REVIEW, ONEGAI!!!!** ::begs:: My first AMD ficlet and I want everyone to like it!!!! ((To Moony--again: I hope you liked it and it made you laugh! That was the point! Sorry there was no Tidus! Maybe next time, mmkay? ::hugs:: Daisuki!))


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